Resolving Interpersonal Conflict (Post #2)

Nobody likes to face any interpersonal conflicts, especially if the conflict is between friends. I am someone who would try to bury the hatchet and not hold grudges should such a situation occur. I consider myself a fairly introvert person, but I am not afraid to speak up if necessary. 

This particular conflict involved myself and a fellow athlete during competition.

(For clarity, my team shall be named Team A, and our rival team named Team B)

One interpersonal conflict that I can recall happened about two years ago. As mentioned in my previous post, I compete regularly as a track and field sprinter. At a particular local athletics meet, I participated in the 4x100m relay.

Since the track and field fraternity in Singapore is fairly small, most of us know one another personally. As such, we were rivals on the track, friends off it. That said, respect and humility for each other is still a very important part in any sport and of course, in life too. One particular athlete crossed that line during this race- "Harry", the anchor runner for Team B, was a respected athlete by me and I considered him a good friend. However, this incident changed all that.

The race was exciting and exhilarating from the start till the end as both top teams were matched stride for stride. Both Team A and Team B passed off the baton to their respective anchor runners almost simultaneously. However, knowing that Team A's runner is much slower, Team B's anchor runner, Harry, was confident enough to run almost the entire race while turning his head to "look" at Team A's anchor runner. He completed this un-sportsmanship behaviour with hand gestures close to the finish line- as if to imply that he is unbeatable. 

Perhaps it was adrenaline and excitement that got the better of Harry. It is one thing to celebrate because you or your team is winning, but a complete different aspect when your actions are directed to the losing team.

Harry has always been known to be an arrogant and proud person. But every action has a limit.
I was not the only one who noticed or condemned Harry's inappropriate behaviour. With video replays shown around the stadium, I had a clear look of the events that unfolded. To say the least, I was disgusted with Harry's behaviour. Hence, when asked during a media interview after the race, I commented that "I felt his actions were unprofessional and a disgrace to athletics." Needless to say, relations between myself and Harry deteriorated, and we never saw eye to eye for the next few months.

  

However, as fate would have it, both Harry and I were drawn into the same relay team for a combined Universities Team. As I was appointed Captain of the team, it only made sense for me to try to mend this relationship not only for us, but for the sake of the team too.

Firstly, I dropped him an email apologizing for my comments, but at the same time, pointing out that his actions were uncalled for. I was sincere in my apology, but an email would not solve everything. Thus, I took the opportunity to speak to Harry personally when I saw him. 


Presently, things are not rosy between Harry and I- but I make it a point to start small talks with him when I see him. The ball is in his court.

How many times have we held grudges against someone who may have wronged you?

If we just “let it go” and try to mend strained relationships, perhaps the world would be a better place.

My story.

 Vision Stories – Tell these to inspire hope, especially when your team needs occasional reminders of why they're doing what they should be doing. Vision Stories are meant to stimulate action and raise morale. Find a story that reminds everyone what the ultimate goal is, and why it's important that everyone reaches that goal. This type of story should be told from your heart, with emotion.

           

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Back in 2007, my life hit a major physical and emotional road bump.

I was a national athlete running the 400m. That year, my team had qualified for the biannual South East Asian Games, considered to be a prestigious event in the sporting arena.

However, I was injured badly while I was playing soccer, which, on hind sight, was a very stupid and regretful mistake.

I tore my anterior crucial ligament in my left knee, and I was out for the season. The doctors advised me to give up competitive track and field. The doctors told me to quit.

I could not believe him. I did not want to believe him. And I did not quit.

For the next three months, I went through the painful process of rehabilitation and restrengthening of my muscles.  And I was determined to return stronger and faster. At some point, I’m pretty sure I was depressed.

Life almost never goes according to plan, and this was a true test of my passion and willpower to keep going.

As I sat at home, it was not easy watching my teammates on television. I should have been there. I could have been there. But it’s no use crying over spilled milk. And 

I set myself a goal to make it to the SEA Games team again.

9 months after my surgery to reconstruct my ACL, I raced again.

I clocked my personal best time over the quarter mile.

I was overjoyed to say the least.

Four years on, I am proud to say that I have again qualified for this year’s SEA Games- and this time, I’ll be the one on television.

Never lose sight of your goals. Never lose confidence in yourself.

When people give up on you, never give up on yourself.

Dreams do not magically come true. Be patient. And work hard for it.

Rising Sun.

Today I met up with my cousins who are in Singapore on holiday. They are triplets- 2 girls and a boy.

They are Japanese, but they do understand and speak English to a certain extent. However, I realized that more often than not, we communicate purely by facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice and the occasional one word sentences like "ok?" or "no!".

Oh, I forgot to mention that they are only seven years old.

Then I thought back, for the three weeks they've been here, I communicate with them non-verbally about 80% of the time. Even when I do say or ask them a question in simple English, they probably only understand 50% of what I'm actually saying, and they rely the other 50% on visual ques, context and tone of voice.

But it's not only them who uses non-verbal communication to understand. Since they seldom speak English, I, myself have to use their body language, tone and context to try to figure out what they are saying. Sometimes they just speak entirely in Japanese, sometimes they don't use words at all, just some sounds that children make when they need something. Amazingly, most of the time, I get it right.

Just a simple example of how we use non-verbal communications to good effect.

Effective Communication Skills Blog Post #1

Effective communication is not just applicable to the work place, but to every other scenarios in everyday life as well. With future workplace situations in mind, I took this class because I know that I will benefit tremendously by being able to learn and practice effective and professional communication skills.

We meet and interact with people daily that we sometimes forget the importance of effective communication. This is especially so when you are communicating with someone that you seldom talk to, for example, a friend whom you seldom meet, a business customer or even your colleagues at work.

Effective communication skills do not only refer to face-to-face conversations- but it also incorporates other verbal and non-verbal communications such as business letters, emails, presentations and body language. Sometimes, emotions or context cannot be fully understood from an email or a text message. Hence, it is important to be clear and concise on the points you are making, so that there is little or no chance of misinterpretation. This is especially important in the workplace, where communication is key. Any misinterpretation of sorts may lead to a misunderstanding and conflict with another colleague, or even lose a potential lucrative business deal.

Hence effective communication skills are important to me because it allows me to get my intentions and message across to the recipient, without it being distorted or misinterpreted.

Today's society boasts a vast network and methods of communication with people around the world. With so many new forms of communication emerging, it is essential that we get the message across, clearly and effectively.

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