9/9/2011
Tan Wei Sheng Lance
37 Japan Lane
(65) 97362221
lancetan@email.com
Dear Sir/Madam
Re: Advertisement on Straits Times Recruit: Civil Engineer/Geotechnical Engineer
I am writing to apply for the geotechnical engineer position advertised in The Straits Times. As requested, I am enclosing the relevant documents.
The opportunity presented in this listing is caught my attention because I believe that my strong interest in this field and education will make me a very competitive candidate for this position.
I am currently pursuing a degree in Mechanical Engineering at the National University of Singapore. I will be graduating in June 2012. During my term, I have interned at Eagles Services Asia Pte Ltd, attached to their Technical Services department, helping to implement a new communication software, as well as shadowing senior engineers during inspection and evaluation of products. I also participated in a student exchange program to University of California, Berkeley, where I gained much experience from my time there through interaction with people from all walks of life.
I was the captain of the NUS Track and Field team, hence I am confident that I have the ability to work and lead a team if necessary. Furthermore, being a member of the National team in athletics also reflects my good work ethics and attitude.
I feel, given the opportunity, I can integrate well with any team and contribute significantly to the company. I also posses a valid Singapore Class 3 driving license.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward in meeting you.
Yours Sincerely,
Tan Wei Sheng Lance
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Advert.
Civil Engineer/ Geotechnical engineer
- Min Diploma/ Degree holder
- Preferably with valid Singapore Class 3 driving lixense
- Good communication skills
- Able to work as a team
- Good working attitude
Interested, please send documents to jobsXXXXXX@hotmail.com with expected salary.
Hi Lance,
ReplyDeleteThere is a typo in the first sentence of the 2nd paragraph. “… in this listing is caught my…” should be “… in this listing caught my…”.
For the last paragraph, probably you can substitute “I feel” to “I am confident”.
This is from the advertisement in The Straits Times? Is it possible to find this company online where you can get information about their hiring manager (name, title, address)?
Everything else looks good :))
Hey Lance, here are my comments:
ReplyDeletePositives: Clear and concise. You included details about your school/work experiences which shows relevance. You also kept you Track and Field information short (not as relevant to requirements of job position) and sweet (highlights your attributes and added value you can bring to the company).
Negative: I think the part about your driving license at the end of the letter is quite abrupt? Maybe you can leave it out, since I believe it would be in your resume.
Thank you Klara and Noelle for your noteworthy comments! (:
ReplyDelete@Klara: The listing was very brief and short hence there was no information of which company it is from. The email address did not offer any clues as it was a hotmail account.
@Noelle: I do agree that the driving license was abit out of place, but as it was the the 2nd point/requirement in the listing, I figured it was essential in mentioning it.
Hey lance! Excellent job on your cover letter, you have really grasped the concept of conciseness well as your cover letter was a really easy read yet I still managed to get all the essential details. Other than those little things that Klara pointed out. I have not much constructive criticism to give.
ReplyDeleteYou may find this link useful because I just saw Daves cover letter and i noticed he makes excellent use of power words:
http://www.rockportinstitute.com/powerwords
I was just working on trying to improve my cover letter by adding some of those power words in, just thought you might like to check it out as well :)
Long sentences!
ReplyDeleteDuring my term, I have interned at Eagles Services Asia Pte Ltd, attached to their Technical Services department, helping to implement a new communication software, as well as shadowing senior engineers during inspection and evaluation of products.
vs
I interned at Eagles Services Asia Pte Ltd and was attached to their Technical Services department. I assisted in implementing their new communication software and was given the opportunity to closely shadow senior engineers during inspection and evaluation of products.
&
I also participated in a student exchange program to University of California, Berkeley, where I gained much experience from my time there through interaction with people from all walks of life.
vs
I had an opportunity to participate in UC Berkeley's summer programme. The programme allowed me to expand my horizons and gave me numerous opportunities to closely interact with students and professors from different countries and backgrounds.